Going to ramble some philosophical musings. This blog was initially created with a space to not only retain my journey in mathematics and mathematics education, but also my own fascination with philosophy (hence the title of the blog the Pai Intersect)... I feel like I've been a bit lopsided since I haven't really done any posts on pure mathematics or philosophy. So... here it is...
I definitely would not have foreseen the extent of integration of mathematics education with my life.
I read about math education, work on math education, research about math education, create daily lessons... and beyond the occasional fatigue induced sitting-and-staring-at-the-wall-because-I-am-intellectually-spent moments, I truly do enjoy it.
And when I enjoy it -- it doesn't feel like work. In fact, reading blogs and certain aspects of planning lessons (like supplementing my Ninja Board) has become my past time.
There seems to be a strong desire to separate work and life... but that seems to operate under the assumption that work is not part of life. "If you're working, you're not living life," or "working is preventing me from really living my life" are things I common hear about these subjects.
I really don't see a problem with the two being one and the same -- integrated, mutually supporting each other.
Of course, when I do get the courage to object to people's adamant distinctions between work and life, I often get the response of: It's great that you currently think this way, but trust me, it will fade.
I completely understand that may be a possibility, since the uncertainty of futures makes their response absolutely unfalsifiable, but I suspect (and strongly hope) that statement will fail to represent my future. For my own sake, I think I will try to come up with some reasons for this:
1. I believe the mindset of seeing work and life being one and the same will help prevent immediate attribution of frustration only to "work." Sure, I can be frustrated at some aspect of work, but I would not be able to charge this negativity to the category of work since I have not established a clear separation between "work" and "life."
2. I have discovered an enjoyment in casually dabbling in different aspects of professional development that some may label as "work." Reading blogs, for example, is not an obligation but a relaxing venture. Google reader may pile up with lots of "unread" posts sometimes due to my busy schedule, but all I have to do is wipe the slate clean with "mark all as read," and I am home free! Well I try not to do that, since I do want to see some valuable opinions that I may have missed, but I've definitely just browsed and skimmed through the posts if they don't immediately catch my attention (or were too intellectually demanding for whatever state of mind I was in). Having a clear goal in my research, and reading interesting research studies have also been mostly a positive experience for me. This is likely because I don't feel pressured to really obtain a "degree." I am far more interested in the puzzles that constitutes my research questions (for some reason writing this sentence reminded me of the TV Show House MD). So I think my non-chalant attitude towards these aspects of life will contribute integrating "work" and "life" even in the future.
Reason number 2 is a particular interesting one. It's not that I am refusing recognizing my responsibilities -- it's more like I am choosing not to be bogged down by these perceived responsibilities and obligations. Instead, I am focusing on my reasons for wanting to take on these responsibilities. I am teaching because I love it. I am reading blogs because I enjoy thinking about teaching which I love. I am doing grad studies because I am interested in finding out more about this thing which I love called education.
So why fuss over what I love? Why tease out the specifics of what I love attribute only the positives to "life," and the rest to "work?"
To my future self -- Maintain this attitude of choosing to think about work and life as one of the same, and we'll live much happier.
Or I'll disown you.
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